inbox: inbox: inbox: inbox: inbox: knock knock whos there may I come in? may I come in who? may i come in you
madturbating: “are you fucking kidding me” -me every two seconds at school
my dad just told me “you dont get enough D because you don’t leave your room” and it took me a few seconds to realise that he was talking about vitamin D and not my sex life
laughingstation: is it seriously almost february omg time sure flies when youre wasting your life
sannanomad: do you ever have those moments where even if you’re not romantically involved with someone, you see someone else start talking to them and you just kinda wanna hiss and throws things at them because fuck you that’s my person get your own
Listening to music through new headphones after...
the-absolute-funniest-posts: laugh-addict: This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.
People on the olympics:
laugh-addict: when you message someone and they don’t answer it’s like
internetexplorers: why hasn’t anyone offered my parents 5 camels for my hand in marriage yet what am i doing wrong
When someone says "do the math."
takinoverswag: when you make a fantastic joke but you execute it poorly
tapdancers: A+ zombie survival tip. tell them to go away
aliciapoole: zeldalise: jacobtheloofah: samuelsoro: moffathavemercy: fauxface: zeldalise: give me a D, give me an O, give me an N, give me an E i can give you a D I’ll give you an N and an O looks like the E is…missing this is literally the best fucking joke on tumblr oh my gosh all 72,000 of you are dead to me :3
tweekerd: nevvzealand: my friend went on exchange to america and at her school there she won prom queen haha imagine being at that school and wanting to win prom queen your whole high school life and then 2 weeks before prom a random new zealand girl turns up and wins it
gayzio: In Canada, you don’t say ‘I love you’. You say ‘EH EH MAPLE LEAF QUEEN HAM BACON MOOSE ANTLER EH’ which roughly translates into ‘I’ll give you my snow shovel.’ I think that’s beautiful.
When my pet decides to walk away
WHY IS MAKEUP SO EXPENSIVE LIKE IM NOT BUYING FUCKING FURNITURE IM BUYING SOME GODDAMN EYELINER
internetexplorers: *crying but still cuter than u*
thatfunnyblog: today my best friend asked me “why cinderella’s shoe fell off if it fit her perfectly” Funny Stuff you like?
The moment when someone says a bad joke about...
lolsofunny: lolfunniest: (lol here!)
tapdancers: In British, we dont say “I love you” we say “crumpet crumpet the queen tea scoodilypoop Mary poppins” which roughly translates to “I am a part of you”. Tragically beautiful.
twated: I’d be such a good girlfriend you’re all missing out
theargylegargoyle: sketchypanda: death-by-anime: To all those 12.9 year-olds on Tumblr, I think we all know where you really belong: I think you should shut the fuck up we RP smut. I do it all the fucking time. We write fanfics. We love yuri and yaoi. We have dirty minds. Looks like we misjudged those 12.9 year olds.
9gag-is-for-12-year-olds: has song about feminism has song about gay rights has song about consumerism has songs about drug abuse and alcoholism has song about white privilege in all of them, he speaks realistically about subject and includes his personal experience fucking song about thrift shopping gets popular
my-wintersoldier: connorsrockinbooty: there is no friendship in mario kart it’s all fun and games until somebody picks rainbow road.
shady-brain-farm: I like how on Tumblr we all have lots of sass but in real life we can’t say hi without fucking up.
dear 98% of the people that follow me that dont...
syupon: tamaraldbrennan: Who are you Whats your favorite color Favorite ship Favorite ice cream flavor Do you have a cat Thank reblogging again bc I already got some from really cute people, but it makes me unreasonably happy to read these from you SO KEEP ON SENDING THEM